The typical ritual for many men when going out with their buddies is to approach the girl that catches their eye, get her number, and attempt to have a little more success than the next guy.
Unfortunately, picking up women at bars puts men at a disadvantage because, in simple economic terms, there is a limited amount of supply and a profusion of demand. You are trying to pick up a girl in the one place we know they have most of the power. Or at least more than they would have in most everyday situations.
Logic would say don’t even bother and wait for the next opportunity to approach a girl in a place like Starbucks or a class. But realistically, you’re already out with your buddies and you’re probably going to want to approach women despite the odds being stacked against you. To aid your liquid courage we decided to give you these 5 simple tips to help even the playing field when approaching women at bars.
Tip #1 Practice:
Like all things in life, no matter how many excellent tips you hear and advice you cram in your head, if you’re not comfortable enough to get a few approaches under your belt, you won’t be able to execute them right.
No matter how attractive a girl is, there is always a fear of possible rejection and disappointment. Once you just wing it and get rejected enough times you will notice that you are still in one piece and you will develop a healthy amount of indifference.
Tip #2 Confidence:
Let’s clarify: confidence doesn’t mean being a cocky douche-bag. Confidence means you’ll approach a girl knowing you will succeed in striking a conversation and even if she turns you down, it’s her loss. You need to believe in yourself from the inside out, and when you approach her do it with charisma, poise and a splash of dominance. Fake it until you literally become it.
Tip #3 Mystery:
Your composure and energy will be something easily sensed from the moment they meet you. There is a reason James Bond gets a lot of women– you never see him open up which makes him incredibly mysterious and alluring. Leave her wanting more, be a little suave, don’t laugh too much, and work on some charm. Less is more.
Tip #4 Ask the Tough Questions:
Don’t ever waste your time and money on any woman you meet in a bar. Don’t buy her drinks and don’t keep talking to her unless you have a clear understanding of her situation.
Within the first couple minutes of meeting her, look her in the eyes, and ask where her boyfriend is. Pay attention to her response, because it will tell you everything you need to know. Don’t be afraid of the answer. Now, if you break this question down a bit more, you’ll see how much more communication’s going on beneath the surface.
First, this is you telling her: 1) I’m interested in you enough that it matters if you have a boyfriend; and 2) I’m confident enough to ask you this upfront because I’m not going to waste my time if you’re taken.
She’ll sense the bold question and confidence which will score you bonus points.
On the flip side, her answer will tell you a couple of things too. 1) Obviously, she will let you know if she really does have a boyfriend or not (guys, there are plenty of single girls out there. If she’s taken, it’s not worth it. Just move on); and 2) you’ll see if she’s interested in continuing the conversation. The question offers her an easy out if there is sincerely no interest. If she says she’s not single, no sweat–off to the next girl.
Tip #5 Have Fun
If you aren’t enjoying yourself, you aren’t going to be enjoyable company. But if she can tell you’re having a genuinely good time, regardless of what happens, it will be contagious and she’ll feel attracted to your vibe. Don’t stress yourself out.
We hope these five basic tips help you out. Keep your chin up, and enjoy the night. Leave a comment below if you have any tips, feedback, or requests for other tips you’d like us to cover. Don’t forget to share and tell your friends who could benefit from this article.
All of LTCL’s Man Cave dating articles are screened by LTCL female staff writers to make sure the advice we give you works.
