At some point in our recent past, we’ve all been the basic bitch. We’ve affectionately recalled lines from “Sex and the City.” We’ve dyed our hair ombre. We’ve found ourselves bragging about the latest smoothie with the same excitement usually reserved for an open 6:30 pm SoulCycle class.
But there is one fortunate group of women whose hair textures make them impervious to the doomed label.
Beyoncé is one of them. Owners crossbreed poodles to look like them. Girls spend millions annually trying to emulate them. Thanks to their natural kink and a head full of twists, curly-haired girls are the furthest thing from basic bitches.
As soon as a girl with curly hair enters the room, your eye goes directly to her. Snoop Dogg was certainly referring to curly-haired girls when he rapped, “Bitches lookin’ at me strange, but you know I don’t care/Step up in this motherf*cker just a swangin’ my hair.”
If fro-yo is the basic bitch of ice cream, then curly-haired girls are the frozen hot chocolate sundae. Here’s why ladies with corkscrew hair will never be basic bitches:
1. Beyoncé is one of them.
This pretty much shuts down every opposing argument against this article. The Queen is not basic. In fact, her velvety mane is one of her many notable characteristics.
We genuinely pray to the powers that Bey that one day, with the proper weave and soundtrack, we will be able to shake our hair as well as Yoncé shakes her ass. Of course, she can already do both. At the same time.
2. They never know what they’re going to wake up with.
Much like their slept-on tresses in the morning, a curly-haired girl’s personality is completely unpredictable. One day, she’s spiraling out of control and the next, she’s tamed in place (see: Felicity, everyone’s beloved basketcase, STRIKEOUT, quirky college girl).
Don’t let this turn you off. All it takes is a little conditioner to smooth out her rough ends.
3. Nothing is ever straight and plain.
Whereas basic bitches fall flat like their hairstyles, curly girls know how to turn up the volume. Everything we do, we do it big.
Whether it’s our jam-packed vanity closets filled with hair products or our wild and carefree lifestyles, we certainly have a lot going on.
4. They are comfortable going au naturel.
Despite being called “basic bitches,” there’s actually a lot of work and maintenance that goes into earning the title.
The same isn’t true for girls with ringlets who prefer to keep it real. They don’t have to spend hours getting primped or styling their manes. Everything about them is 100 percent authentic.
5. Their look is exotic.
Curly-haired girls can’t fake it, and you can’t replicate it. Like a specially-colored peacock, or a stand-out snowflake, coiled tresses are extraordinary — and each ringlet is different from the next.
Classic beauties like Julia Roberts, Naomi Campbell and Kate Hudson have all embraced their natural texture. It’s more alluring and interesting than the standardized blow out.
6. They can easily change it up.
Curly girls have a lot of style options to choose from (straightened, wavy, fro status), and thus, easily avoid falling into basic-bitch-prom-curls territory. They aren’t limited to one style and don’t look silly trying to pull off a different look.
Because she’s got a range of versatility, a curly-haired girl will continue to surprise you.
7. They’re innately fierce.
Think about all the adjectives associated with curly hair and compare them to how we describe straight hair: “Polished” versus “vibrant”; “sleek” versus “luxuriant”; “chic” versus “luscious.” Curly-haired modifiers possess more energy and intrigue.
8. They know how to bounce back.
We’re not talking about fresh-off-the-curling-iron, playing-it-safe, cascading curls. All it takes is a little water from an ALS Ice Bucket Challenge, and those ladies will go right back to being flat.
We’re referring to the girls who would need four gallons of toxic, 90s-hair relaxers to finally smooth out their manes. These are the girls who know how to pick themselves up when they’re down. Curly girls don’t let a bad hair day stop them from doing their thing.
When all else fails, they know the secret to starting over: wash, rinse and repeat.
