London college student James White had a severe case of the drunken munchies when he stumbled back to his York flat.
Unfortunately, he couldn’t find anything there to eat. There was one thing thing in the flat, however, that looked especially appetizing in his drunken stupor: White’s flatmate’s hamster.
White placed the hamster in a frying pan and would have eaten it if he hadn’t realized what he had done shortly after.
We don’t know who called the police or how he or she knew what was going on, but police were called to the block of flats to find an obliterated White in his house where a frying pan was on the stove with a hamster in it.
According to the prosecutor, White told the officer: “What, I f****** fried it? I fried it.”
The hamster died from heat failure but it is yet to be determined whether the animal was killed by White before he attempted to fry it or if its heart stopped while it was sizzling in the frying fan.
District Judge Roy Anderson told White he was sentencing him on the basis the rodent died minutes before the frying took place.
White must now complete 120 hours of unpaid work in the community.
District Judge Anderson said: “By virtue of your treatment of this small, unfortunate rodent you’ve destroyed your good character and acquired a criminal conviction. It’s accepted now that there was rough handling of that animal but that it couldn’t be established that it was putting it in the frying pan and applying heat that caused its death.
Had that sadistic conduct been established I would be dealing with you in a far more serious way than I am.”
Have you ever been so drunkenly famished that you would fry up a hamster?
We can’t tell whether this kid was really that wasted or if he is displaying all the typical signs of a future serial killer.
Sean Levinson | Elite.
