Listen up, people — especially the ones stuck in the fantasyland of relationships: Fairytales aren’t real, so why does society still chastise women for using their own money to pay for dates?
There seems to be a certain stigma that surrounds men whose girlfriends pay for dates.
Other women might look at their friend’s boyfriend and think he is lazy, broke or isn’t into her, but come on; it’s 2015.
Over a half-century ago, many women did not have jobs or their own money, which is why men provided and paid for dates, cars, houses, etc.
But, today, women are as well off as they have ever been, so why can’t we use our own money to go on a date to spend quality time with a SO?
Reason #1: His finances, or lack thereof
In our 20s, it’s hard to live up to the fantasyland expectation that the guy will always pay for a date.
If he has graduated from college and landed an entry-level position, he’ll probably be busy paying back a hefty student loan for what seems like the rest of his life, which hinders his dating budget.
If he is still in school and working a part-time job, he definitely won’t have X amount of dollars to spend every weekend to take you out.
Sorry, you better bring your wallet if you want to go out, ladies.
Reason #2: You’re not being used… (but trust your gut)
Society seems to assume that if a woman pays for dinner, the male counterpart is a scummy, freeloading bum. But, nine times out of 10, that is not true.
I know women who were what I call “brainwashed” and let their supposed “boyfriends” financially abuse them because they were scummy, freeloading bums. But, that is not what a true boyfriend should ever be.
If you feel he is requesting you pay for everything, especially things solely for him, maybe you should take a step back and ask yourself what is going on. (Remember: “I don’t want no scrub.”)
Relationships are about compromise and doing things together, and that should also apply to entertainment finances.
Once in a while, or even every other date, a woman should be able to pay and not feel as if she is breaking some societal rule, or that her boyfriend is scum (or a scrub).
Men should be able to feel special, too.
Reason #3: Honestly, men want us to pitch in
The American Sociological Association conducted a research study on this very subject, and the results corroborate that most women don’t want to challenge the tradition of not having to pay for dates.
But, the findings about men’s opinions could not have created a stronger dichotomy.
The study found that out of 17,000 unmarried, heterosexual men and women, 57 percent of women say they have offered to help pay for a date but, 39 percent hoped men would reject their offer to pitch in.
But, listen up, ladies: Nearly two-thirds of men believe women should contribute to dating expenses.
Better yet, almost half of men said they would stop dating a woman who never pays.
The bottom line is, men want us to pull our own weight in a relationship.
So, what does this mean?
If society is accepting the transforming gender roles for women — being breadwinners, CEOs and presidential candidates — why can’t women just suck it up and pay for dates already?
By women not wanting to change their own gender roles in a relationship, they are stunting the change and progression in society of other equality issues.
Let’s face it: All 20-somethings have some sort of financial trouble, so why not share expenses to promote an equal playing field in relationships?
I want to hear about your experiences.
Guys, has a woman ever offered to pay? Does your girlfriend mind paying? Girls, have you ever offered? Would your friends think you’re crazy?
