In 2015, gold diggers come in both genders. Spotting one can be tricky, especially if you are blinded by sex, or worse, love.
If you’ve spent years climbing to the top of your profession, achieved financial success and are now are looking to complete the puzzle of your existence by finding true love, this approach in and of itself could set you up and make you vulnerable to gold diggers.
If the above sounds like you, you tend to approach life in a linear pattern: education, financial success, acquiring assets, love and so on. You might even believe that your financial status is the thing that will make you a desirable and lovable partner.
Here are four ways to avoid dating people who are in it for the money:
1. Don’t lead with your wallet or your portfolio of assets.
Don’t discuss your various holdings and how powerful and influential you are in your respective field, and don’t brag about your latest splurge on a first date. It will turn off those who seek more meaningful connections. They’ll write you off as a shallow bragger.
This will also make you attract gold diggers to you like flies to honey. Status-hungry social and financial climbers will continue to pursue a relationship with you to bask in your reflective glow, and they will set their sights on financial gain.
You’ll be viewed as a big fish to reel in and live off of. Instead, lead with your passions, your hobbies and your thoughts on relationships.
In short, share who you are, not what you have.
2. Try to date within your age range.
This tends to be a tough one for older men who feel entitled to young, beautiful mates because of their status, or for those who are still looking to start a family with a fertile young thing. It also presents a challenge nowadays to financially independent divorcees who feel like recapturing their youth by gaining the attention and adoration of young, virile studs.
Unfortunately, many of these scenarios can lead to attracting someone with ulterior motives: someone you have little in common with. This leads to a relationship that can leave you feeling empty and taken advantage of.
So find someone more suited for you. For men, this means someone who you would consider to be from your generation, who shares your frame of reference and your values. For women, this should mean no one more than five years your junior. But preferably look for someone your age or a bit older.
3. Seek potential mates within your own tax bracket.
Love is love. I get that. But particularly in the case of women wanting to find love, a partner who can hold his own financially might make more sense. For men, a woman who has a track record of being able to maintain her own life — independent of being taken care of by a man — is a plus.
In fact, now, there are even dating apps where millionaires can connect with other millionaires, so that money is no longer a question when determining someone’s intentions. The dating app MillionaireMatch offers the opportunity for members to become “certified millionaires” by submitting their identification and financial documents for verification. Two millionaires can then meet and date with peace of mind, and enjoy the good life without anyone feeling used or second-guessing the other’s intentions.
4. Keep romance and business separate (in the beginning).
There’s nothing wrong with helping your partner reach his or her full potential in every area of his or her life. Resources are meant to be shared with those we love, but there’s no need to rush. Watch out for potential mates who hint at wanting you to finance their dreams within the first few months of dating and getting to know one another.
If you are courting someone who seems more interested in the connections you have to offer or your ability to bankroll his or her career aspirations — as opposed to simply enjoying your company — run for the hills. These kinds of arrangements tend to happen organically as the two of you merge your lives together over an extended period of time. But if you feel pressured in a new relationship to pony up the dough or make a phone call that could change the other person’s life, you could get hurt.
