Ladies, it’s time to stop thinking about boys and start looking for men.
Boys are a waste of your time, and they usually just have one thing in mind.
They’re only paying attention to you in order to rack up their number of sexual conquests, and they aren’t interested in having meaningful conversation.
It may be hard to distinguish between a drooling boy and a competent man, so here are 21 ways to identify a man, catch his attention and keep him all to yourself:
1. You know the difference between f*cking, having sex and making love.
Yes, there is a huge difference between the three.
When you get into bed with a man, it will not feel like you’re just f*cking him. It will feel like having sex.
How do you know the difference?
F*cking is usually reserved for one-night stands with a guy you met at a bar or a booty call at 3 am.
Having sex is when you actually enjoy the person you’re in bed with, and you’re not wondering if he’s going to call you the next day or if he’s enjoying it.
Having sex is a mutual and consensual act between both (or more) parties involved.
However, sex won’t feel like making love until you are in a serious relationship.
Every finger placed on your body will ignite your senses.
Making love is the difference between dating a man for three weeks and being with a man for half a year or more.
Making love can’t be rushed.
Don’t panic if it doesn’t feel like it right away. Your time will come.
And if it doesn’t, consider it a message from your lady parts to move on.
2. He hangs out with his squad when he goes out.
You will almost always find a guy at the bar, waiting to make his move or wandering around the place and waiting for the right lull in your conversation to introduce himself.
The man you want is actually in the back of the bar or club, sitting down with his squad.
A real man isn’t thirsty.
He doesn’t need to talk to every woman in the venue to feel good about himself, and he doesn’t need to try to have a “happy ending” at the end of the night.
All he needs is his friends and a few drinks, and he’s content.
If you want to approach him, get your ladies to grab the table near or next to his.
Sit down across from him so you’re facing each other.
Have some drinks and talk about the sh*tty day you just had.
Make occasional contact, but don’t over do it.
It will show him you are not there to hook up with any guy who gives you a second of attention.
3. He doesn’t have a profile on an dating website.
Ladies, always check if the person you are considering dating has a page on a dating site.
Those guys are just looking for attention from complete strangers.
Those are boys, and you don’t want someone who can’t even commit to you.
Don’t have a dating app to check? Get your girlfriends who do to check.
If he does, then ask him.
See if he will lie to you.
If he is honest and says he does, tell him your concerns and see if he will take it down for the time he spends dating you.
If not, bye, Felicia.
4. His clothes don’t scream “high school chic.”
I’m not saying he has to be decked out in Calvin Klein or Armani because what good, wholesome, non-egotistical man is?
I’m saying a real man has outgrown Abercrombie and American Eagle.
His wardrobe consists of solid colors or soft stripes, patterns, sweaters and at least one good suit.
If he is walking around with ridiculous shirts that you wouldn’t want him to wear around your mom, then he still has some boyhood in him.
5. He doesn’t try to make a move after the first date.
A real man doesn’t have to.
Truthfully, if a guy seems to be into you after one date and tries to make a move, it’s because he is insecure and wants to make sure you understand what you’re getting.
Once again, gross.
A real man will pick you up, take you to a moderately expensive place, take you home and walk you to your door.
He won’t ask to come inside.
6. He balances texting and in-person conversations.
Any relationship definitely has both, but if he is too heavy with texting and doesn’t put enough effort in spending some in-person time with you, then you should ask yourself if you’re truly the only woman he’s texting.
A man will want to see you in person way more than just talking through text.
However, we all have busy schedules and possibly difficult times at work.
That’s why balancing it out is key.
7. He has a good relationship with his parents.
If he doesn’t respect his mom, how can he respect you?
I’m not suggesting that he talks to him mom every single day for hours, but he shouldn’t ignore her calls or texts.
He should talk about his family a decent amount without being overbearing.
You should at least have a good understanding of his childhood and how he grew up.
It says a lot about you, and it says a lot about him.
It will definitely let you know if you two can work in the long run.
8. He can admit when he’s wrong.
This is so important. A secure man will know and admit when he is wrong.
If someone refuses to give in or apologize, then he is too insecure and too wrapped up in himself to have you in his life.
9. He has direction in life.
It’s very hard to find someone with a solid 20-year plan.
But, that doesn’t mean you should go on living with absolutely no idea what you are doing.
A man will have some direction in what he wants to do with his life.
He isn’t just in college to get drunk and have a good time, and he isn’t content with being someone’s assistant at work.
He will have an idea about what he is working for and what he plans to do with his studies.
10. You don’t need to lie to him.
Trust is the most important thing in a relationship.
You should feel comfortable being honest and open with him.
You know he won’t care if you’re getting your lip waxed or going to the doctor for that weird thing in your armpit.
You should feel comfortable telling him the truth.
If you feel you need to lie to him, then you aren’t secure in the relationship.
11. Your friends can call him a gentleman.
It is one thing to view him as a kind and sweet gentleman who treats you right.
But, it’s another thing for him to treat your friends right. (Yes, your friends’ opinions really do matter.)
If he doesn’t treat your friends with respect, then he isn’t the man you need.
12. A friendship was established before the relationship.
You know how they always say to fall in love with your best friend?
A real man will want to get to know you before starting a relationship with you.
Don’t be upset if he doesn’t want to get into your pants right away.
That’s his way of showing you that he is serious and really does like you.
By establishing a friendship first, it makes the relationship so much better and easier.
How to know you made it? You can fart in front of him.
13. He pays for the little things.
It’s one thing for him to pay for dinner and a movie, but it’s another thing for him to buy you some flowers or that cute accessory you’ve been babbling about for months.
This will show you he cares about you, and he just wants to make you happy.
It really is the little things that count.
14. He’s not threatened by your guy friends.
If your new guy tells you to stop seeing your guy friend whom you’ve known since the second grade (and nothing romantic has ever happened), ditch this boy.
If he can’t appreciate the people you’ve surrounded yourself with over the years, then he doesn’t appreciate who you are as a person.
Granted, he probably will question it from time to time, but a real man will never tell you to choose between your friends and him.
15. His advice is constructive, not what you want to hear.
In any relationship, you look to your partner for advice, but it is important to listen to the advice he gives you.
A boy would tell you that you’re OK and that everything will be all right.
A man will hear your concerns, take them in and give you the best possible advice.
His advice will be geared toward achieving or fixing the issue at hand.
He wants to make sure you are successful in everything you do.
He won’t just tell you everything will be OK and go back to his Xbox.
16. He is chivalrous.
Ladies, chivalry isn’t dead; you’re just finding guys who never had it to begin with.
A man will open the door for you, stand on the traffic side of the sidewalk and ask you what you want for dinner.
17. He calls you anything besides “bae.”
Ugh, the word bae really bothers me.
It reminds me of when I was in middle school, and the boy I liked called me bae to his friends.
That way, they knew we were legit.
That term should live and die just there.
If you’re dating anyone above the age of 20 who uses that word, you should get rid of that man-child.
18. You don’t need to wear makeup around him.
Drake said it best:
Sweatpants, hair tied, chillin’ with no makeup on
That’s when you’re the prettiest, I hope that you don’t take it wrong
Hell yeah. That’s when you’re the prettiest, and you should never take that wrong!
If you can sit with him looking like you just woke up, he’s a keeper.
19. He listens to your ideas.
Being the beautiful and brilliant woman you are, you’re going to have an idea about something nearly every second of every day, and you’re going to want to share those ideas with your man.
If he can sit through an hour of you talking about how good you think a stuffed elephant will look in your room, then he’s a real man.
Just don’t get upset if he shares differing opinions with you.
That’s called communication.
20. His friends see you as one of the guys.
Having your friends like your man is just as important as having your man’s friends like you.
His friends are an extension of him, and it’s totally normal to joke around and make fun of each other.
You are all there because you all care for the same person and want to see him happy.
So, cherish the new friends you’ve made, and don’t be shy around them.
They want to get to know you as much as you want to get to know them.
21. You can be yourself.
Why would you want to be anyone besides your fabulous self?
A man is supposed to compliment who you are, not change who you are.
Never change for anyone, ever.
If he is trying to change you, then he isn’t in love with you.
He is just in love with the idea of you.
