There are two types of people in this world: those with a high IQ and those with a high EQ.
We always hear about those with high IQs, like Albert Einstein, Steve Jobs and Elon Musk. But what about those playing for the other side? What about those with a high EQ, the billionaires, CEOs and leaders who have achieved success due to high people skills rather than high intelligence?
Throughout the traditional school system, we’re judged on our ability to pass exams and prevail on standardized tests. Our worth and future ability is determined by those scores and outcomes, so people who have high people skills are usually overlooked when we think about high players in business.
In the real world, however, your IQ level, like your high school girlfriend’s looks, are downgraded next to things like EQ (Emotional Intelligence), MQ (Moral Intelligence) and BQ (Body Intelligence).
Those with a high EQ were first noticed when people with lower IQs were outperforming their contemporaries with high IQs by over 70 percent, according to Forbes. The public needed to understand why this was happening — and for the first time, being a “people person” had its advantages.
Being a people person isn’t about being outgoing. It’s not about being the most popular or the most comfortable in groups.
Contrary to popular belief, being a people person is a lot more cunning.
It’s about understanding how people work and how to work them to your advantage. It’s about using people without them ever feeling used. It’s about knowing the hidden desires, motives and fears of every person in the room. It’s about penetrating that soft spot right below a person’s armor. It’s about exuding friendship and understanding for the most unpopular and the most misunderstood.
It’s also about knowing yourself — your emotions, your attitude and how you come across to others.
A report from the Carnegie Institute of Technology, cited by Forbes, found that 85 percent of your financial success is due to skills in “human engineering,” which is your personality and ability to communicate, negotiate and lead. Only 15 percent of that success is due to technical skill.
In Dr. Travis Bradberry’s Entrepreneur article, “Why You Need Emotional Intelligence To Succeed In Business,” our EQ is made up of four core skills: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness and relationship management.
And it’s a high development in these four components that make someone with high Emotional Intelligence unstoppable.
1. Self-Awareness: How you handle your emotions
According to Bradberry, “self-awareness is your ability to accurately perceive your emotions and stay aware of them as they happen.”
High intelligence doesn’t count for anything if you can’t control it. If you don’t know how to deal with the highs and lows of business, you’ll remain on the bottom.
It may seem easier said than done, but being able to control your own emotions is key to being able to control those around you. If you can’t control how you react to new situations, bad news and change of plans, you no longer have control over the situation.
2. Self-management: How you direct your emotions
In addition to controlling your emotions, you also need to know exactly how to use them to your benefit. You have to know how to manage your own expectations, mood swings and perceptions.
Most importantly, you have to direct what you’re feeling toward the right outlet.
According to Bradberry, you have to be able to use your awareness of your emotions to stay flexible. Because when you’re able to utilize your positive emotions and stay above the negative ones, you’ll be able to fly above the competition.
3. Social Awareness: How well you understand the emotions of others
Social awareness is really just being able to read between the lines: How well can you pick up on what people aren’t saying?
Your ability to accurately pick up on emotions in other people and understand what’s really going on is key to social awareness. Once you understand how to play on other people’s emotions, you’ll learn how to interact with them and tell them what you know they want to hear.
4. Relationship Management: How well you create interactions from their emotions
According to Forbes, Israeli-American psychologist Daniel Kahneman found that people would rather do business with a person they like and trust rather than someone they don’t, even if that person is offering a better product at a lower price.
The key to success in business is trust. If people like you, they’ll work with you. And the only way to get people to like and trust you is to understand what they need to hear and feel from you.
