In a world where the number of feminists continues to increase and women are more independent than ever, it is hardly shocking that women have the idea that they can get away with as much as society lets men get away with.
Although empowering, this notion has made its way into the world of dating and seems to be the downfall of chivalry.
Men are known to play the field and compete with each other for the number of “notches” on their belt, and in comparison lately women have felt it acceptable to do the same.
You know the saying, “Chivalry is dead and women killed it.” Yeah…it might be because of that.
Women should not date like men because it suggests that we want to be treated as men. The idea of a double standard is in fact a reality for women even though it is unfair. It is accepted and viewed normal for a man to be dating more than one woman at once. It is even condoned and as a result, he is then considered a bachelor.
If a woman is dating multiple men at once, she is undoubtedly considered a whore. I am by no means saying that it is morally acceptable for a man to be polygamous. However, in most cases, it is expected of a man to take longer to want to commit to a serious relationship.
Coming from a woman’s point of view, I think that women do not realize that men are able to live this way because they are not easily attached emotionally to everyone whom they are involved with.
Men don’t spend their time daydreaming what their wedding and babies and future could be like with every girl they meet, whereas most women consider all of these things with each man they become romantically involved with.
As silly as it seems, most women are dreamers and they have hopes and expectations, as well as a vision of how their perfect relationship could be and I’m going to go out on a limb and assume that women don’t see the perfect relationship involving more than two people.
I suppose dating multiple men at once may have its benefits; your family just happens to adore guy number one, number two makes your toes curl in inexplicable ways and maybe guy number three buys you nice things and takes you out to places guys number one and two don’t.
While all of this may sound like a good idea, the special connection that two people share when they enter into a monogamous relationship is unachievable this way.
Having your attention spread among more than one significant other can become exhausting and ultimately lead to unfulfilled relationships.
Another issue is trust; how does one learn to trust and have faith in a relationship if they have back-up men whom they know will be there in case the relationship fails.
A girl may want to keep these extra men around for a sense of security incase of potential relationship failure, or maybe boyfriends two and three fulfill something for her lacking in her current relationship.
Either way, it’s clear that a relationship like that isn’t one worth having.
If a woman allows herself to have this type of dating life, she risks the chance of not having anyone to take her seriously in the end. She also misses out on the experience of a monogamous relationship where a deeper connection can be achieved.
Everyone has to grow up eventually, right? Most men will want someone they can settle down with and it’s unlikely that he will do so with a woman who has a reputation of always “playing the field.”
It’s important for women to grow up as well. Men and women must want to better themselves and realize that there’s a point in life where everyone has to stop playing games.
Now perhaps a woman chooses to play the field because she’s been hurt in the past. Her scars are still prevalent because she no longer takes men seriously and tries to avoid at all costs developing emotions because she doesn’t want to end up in a similar situation. This is the time when she needs to realize her worth and find someone that appreciates her instead of settling for scumbags.
If she doesn’t, she potentially risks missing out on a great opportunity and treating someone like crap who was truly interested.
Maybe a woman chooses to see multiple men at once because she needs the attention. I don’t believe this can be justified unless there are some underlying daddy issues; in that case she needs to gain some closure.
If a woman chooses to play the field and truly feels like she gets more out of it compared to taking the time out to have a committed relationship, then by all means go for it, girl – to each’s her own.
There are pros and cons that come from every relationship, just like there are both benefits and consequences that come from committing yourself to a person.
Many women choose to date casually instead of having a relationship because they are afraid that they’ll be hurt again.
To those who may feel like this, I was there before and let me share something that I read that might allow you to look at things a bit differently,
“It is a risk to love…what if it doesn’t work out? Ah, but what if it does”
By Marlene Rivera
Jenesis Magazine
